Shhhh..

Last night, I almost died. Literally. I was so drunk I ran across the road and then slowly strolled back. There was this sudden set of bright headlights and the vehicle stopped like a few inches from me. I smiled at that point in time, I couldn't care less and honestly, I didn't feel guilty or scared that I could have lost my life. There was this rush of exhilaration and I desperately wished for the vehicle to run me over. I think I want to do it again.

How?

You made me want to care for you, then suddenly it's like you're gone. You make me feel so lonely. I was caught unaware and now I'm feeling sad, all alone at 3am.

It's scary here.

People like those who are held together. So whole with themselves, not damaged. Nobody wants a person who's broken, spoilt goods. But I can't piece myself together. I'm a defect.

-

The daughter that doesn't speak, the father that doesn't know what to do. She's tearing apart on the inside. Too many voices running through her head. She lost her own, maybe never had. Which is hers she doesn't know.

I wish I could stop.

I will hurt you and you have to prove that you can take it. I will hurt someone before they get the chance to hurt me. And if they stay and accept the pain I inflict upon them, they'll get my trust. Because I'm that kind of fucked up.