.

You're like a frightened rabbit. So scared and alone yet you won't let anyone near you. To help you, to accompany you. Shutting everyone out, how long are you going to keep it up ?

Happiness

What is it, really?

my life has been like this during this holiday. no motivation to do much, don't feeling like doing much. alive feels dead sometimes.
school's starting in less than a week, come to think of it, one and a half months of holidays passed really quickly. can't really remember what i did. it feels like i was asleep half th time.

next semester time table like shiok only. one week only got 19hrs of lecture+tutorials. total 5modules compared to last sem's 7 modules & 25hrs a week.
but problem is i don't have cds then need go find course advisor on the first day of school. i scared kena those sucky ones that nobody wants but worse if dont even get one then my second year will be super packed sia.

hopefully i get one & it'll not screw up my super shiok timetable. need to achieve abv 3.5 for gpa this sem. die alr lo everyday study, sad life max.

love seems like this nowadays. either this or people just wants to fuck you. i used to think being fuckable is relativey good cause like desirable ma but you'll feel like a fucking blow up doll after awhile. like so insulting. 

i prefer those can heart to heart talk kind already lo. but i don't like h2h talks unless it's w my bestie cause it makes you feel so vulnerable. hate feeling weak, must be strong. 

and i did something stupid. again. i itchy finger go click on my ex's fb then i saw him happily attached. i don't like him anymore la & happy for him but like 心酸酸 sia. don't know why like that one! annoying lol. 

hopefully one day get to meet someone that makes me feel like i'm seeing lights all over my dark world just by being w them. arbo i'll just get a dog and blanket and be a lonely cat lady. like not bad also, dog at most also shit on your carpet. won't make you sad. #foreveralone yaoming.jpg

okay la, need go bathe then go for acupuncture+cupping. & my shoulder damn lousy, the other day play pool for awhile only the next day pain fuck. zz. just now dady damn weird, say appointment at 10 but 6+ already downstairs waiting. ask him come up sleep he dw. dafug. 

planning go taiwan for 1week during end of december. quite excited cause can like drop everything here and go there enjoy. but going w gugu's two friends and their families. scared awkward ley. but can go shopping before th trip to buy early winter clothes. dady pay somemore hehe. #cheapo 

8:23 already 9 need go down . shall go prepare alr .