What

Do I look so strong, like I don't need someone to care for me? Do I appear to be perfectly fine on my own, like I don't need somebody in my life? Does it seem like I don't have feelings, like I'm numb to things happening around me? Do I give people the impression that I float through life alright, like I don't need something better to happen? Questions, questions. Not a single answer.

Shoo karma

I started meditating and reflecting because of one traumatizing experience and I found that I really enjoyed it. Don't know whether correct anot la but it makes me feel better so means got use right? HAHA. And I'm too tensed up and agitated nowadays and meditation is supposed to calm me and all that good stuff. Plus I hope it will chase away bad karma as it seems to be haunting me ever since one year ago D: So I will religiously meditate everyday for a month and see what are the results like. Hopefully I have the perseverance HAHA.

And hor, I'm not sure if I'm supposed to feel high after meditating, but I really do sia. It may be my new addiction HAHA. Maybe even replace cigarettes HAHAHA! Probably not. But still pretty awesome heh.

So currently, I'm very into this whole zen mode thing. I think it makes me happy. Hopefully one day I can balance a feather on my head without it floating away. Like the inner energy outer calm thing. #sohipster hahahaha

Oh and I'm trying to do more stretching too. Cause after my back operation right, my doctor made me believed that I can never be flexible or stretch much but then I went to try right, after like 10mins? I could stretch way more then he say lor so I deduce that he lied to me. Pfft. So I'm going to keep stretching everyday and hopefully in the future I can go back to my old sleeping position. Which is like you put your feet together in a stretching position then lie totally flat forwards with your head resting on your feet. Of course with a pillow inbetween my feet and face la but not that my feet are dirty. HAHA I wash it everyday one okay! 

And also right, my theory is that when you add meditation and stretching together, you get this whole know your mind & body, love yourself more shit. So it's all good! On the way to more self love hehe ❤.

My take on relationships

Okay, so I was showering like 20mins ago and I had a eureka moment. I had a sudden realization of my view on relationships. It's like not very significant la cause it's supposed to be subconscious right? But I have always been very unsure of what relationships should be like so it's like a pretty big deal to me okay! HAHA

For me, I feel that the first six months after getting together, a couple should continue trying to 'impress' and get the other person's attention. So that after that 6 months, when the honeymoon period starts to fade off, the couple will have strong feelings for each other. Such as feeling their absence, appreciating their presence and not be tempted by any forms of flirting by other people. BUT the first six months of flirting right, should not include the time you try to chase one another. It should only start counting after you get together. In this time and day where people fuck before knowing names, seems hard eh.

My ideal relationship is not one where you can't live without each other but when you are together, everything just seem so much better. One here you share every detail of your day with, all your deepest secrets and fears. It should be a very comforting friendship plus romance like friends and lovers all in one. I want a person that I can talk to all day long and never get bored but instead miss him like crazy when he isn't around. I want someone that I can just wear a huge t-shirt, bun my hair and be makeup-less around and just laze around the house the whole day. Someone to cook with, kiss at all the odd hours of the day. I wish for a relationship that is caring, emotionally stable and intense all at the same time. Like greedy eh?

Okay, I am feeling dehydrated from taking that super hot shower. Going to make myself a cup of greentea and go to bed. My sleeping hours are fucked. Haha goodnight!

08th's

When you close your eyes and open your heart, you'll feel. The best opportunities may be just around the corner.

I'd normally just text for a little bit when a guy starts talking to me, wanting to be nothing more than friends. And when this boy started texting me, I told myself to just take everything he says with a pinch of salt. Don't want to expect.

But I didn't know that I'd grow to like him so much. Truthfully, I'm a little scared. I don't know what the future holds. All I can say is that he's the perfect combination of everything. He makes me really happy. Understands me, talks to me like a bestfriend. Kisses me like a lover, protects me like a sibling. I can tell him my fears and he always tries his best to put me at ease. He made me feel like I can really trust him.

God was good to me, to let us cross paths. I hope I can be good enough for him.
ACWS I'll love you to the heavens and back. ❤

I'm a very lucky girl.

Year 1 of poly has been really good. It has given me 5 lovely girls with many awesomely crazy times, birthday celebrations, shopping trips and h2h talks. Majorly love them <3

Now I fucking scared of year 2. I don't want to change class and deal with all that shit all over again. Cross fingers, hope everything turns out well. For now, ENJOY ALL THE HOLIDAYS! WORK AND EARN ALL THE MONEY! HAHA.

                                                                                                                                                                         
But I think my love life a bit no luck HAHA. Just so you know, I'm waiting for you to let go of your past relationship and open up to me. We seemed to had something going during december, I don't know if it's gone or we've just reached th next stage. Let me know?